Tired mind
Everything is bigger when your tired. Funny things funnier. Horrible things more horrible. Even though they are no different, they just extract a better reaction from the tired ones.
It seems I've become pretty repetitive lately. I can't help but use the same words over and over again. I don't really understand why either.
Ever since getting back I've been more tired. Sort of. It just seems to happen more often. Maybe it's just a lack of vitamins or something. There are pills to fix that.
These are all just some of my thoughts right now that I guess you don't really need to read. Just a waste of time for me to type and for you to read. They aren't even thoughts of much consquence. But I wouldn't want to have deep thoughts all the time. I'd drown. I can't float that long. I'm a horrible swimmer really. I didn't learn how to till about grade four. And I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about ten. I know, I know. That's horrible. What's worse is I don't know why it took so long.
Why is time going so fast? It feels like I just got back yesterday, but now Wednesday is nearing it's end. It seems like lots is happening. I rather it this way, but even though lots is happening, I still find time to do nothing, as though nothing were happening. I wish I used my time better. I want to start reading more books, but none of them matter if I'm not reading the book that changes lives; the book inspired by God himself. And it isn't even that I don't want to. It just hasn't happened.
You know what's really silly? It's been almost four days I've been back and I still haven't really seen my Dad. He works during the day, and stuff has just kept happening at night. He goes to bed early too. I'm trying to see if staying up later throws my sleeping patterns into a more fit summer schedual. Nobody should be waking up at eight in the morning in the summer when they have nothing to do. Heck, anytime. I just don't understand.
Sometimes it feels like I could dissappear and nothing would change. I mean, I don't see what happens when I'm gone, so I don't actually know if I'm needed or not. And then you could do something like this and tell everybody, and then they all say 'no man, without you everything would suck so bad' but you wouldn't actually believe them cuz they just say that to make you feel better. Maybe that's why some people get in such moods often. So that their friends will tell them that they matter. Kids shouldn't have to scare their friends by doing stuff like that though to be told that they matter.
I don't know about you, but I'm not the greatest friend ever. At a thing a couple years ago I heard some guys say that through friendships where you were the best friend you could be is a better evangelism idea than pretty much everything. It's hard to be the best friend ever. Everyone has a different picture of that in their mind. Missionaries should start in their hometown. If they can't be a missionary there, how could they be anywhere? Not everyone is meant to travel the world to be a missionary either. If I can't be the best friend I can be with my friends, how can I be the best friend I can be to anyone, especially those to whom I represent a perfect, loving, all powerful God?
It's like running. It's all mental. It's amazing how much your mind can do.
It took a bit to get there, but there's a half decent thought. And now you know how my brain works most times. It takes a while to get places.
It seems I've become pretty repetitive lately. I can't help but use the same words over and over again. I don't really understand why either.
Ever since getting back I've been more tired. Sort of. It just seems to happen more often. Maybe it's just a lack of vitamins or something. There are pills to fix that.
These are all just some of my thoughts right now that I guess you don't really need to read. Just a waste of time for me to type and for you to read. They aren't even thoughts of much consquence. But I wouldn't want to have deep thoughts all the time. I'd drown. I can't float that long. I'm a horrible swimmer really. I didn't learn how to till about grade four. And I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about ten. I know, I know. That's horrible. What's worse is I don't know why it took so long.
Why is time going so fast? It feels like I just got back yesterday, but now Wednesday is nearing it's end. It seems like lots is happening. I rather it this way, but even though lots is happening, I still find time to do nothing, as though nothing were happening. I wish I used my time better. I want to start reading more books, but none of them matter if I'm not reading the book that changes lives; the book inspired by God himself. And it isn't even that I don't want to. It just hasn't happened.
You know what's really silly? It's been almost four days I've been back and I still haven't really seen my Dad. He works during the day, and stuff has just kept happening at night. He goes to bed early too. I'm trying to see if staying up later throws my sleeping patterns into a more fit summer schedual. Nobody should be waking up at eight in the morning in the summer when they have nothing to do. Heck, anytime. I just don't understand.
Sometimes it feels like I could dissappear and nothing would change. I mean, I don't see what happens when I'm gone, so I don't actually know if I'm needed or not. And then you could do something like this and tell everybody, and then they all say 'no man, without you everything would suck so bad' but you wouldn't actually believe them cuz they just say that to make you feel better. Maybe that's why some people get in such moods often. So that their friends will tell them that they matter. Kids shouldn't have to scare their friends by doing stuff like that though to be told that they matter.
I don't know about you, but I'm not the greatest friend ever. At a thing a couple years ago I heard some guys say that through friendships where you were the best friend you could be is a better evangelism idea than pretty much everything. It's hard to be the best friend ever. Everyone has a different picture of that in their mind. Missionaries should start in their hometown. If they can't be a missionary there, how could they be anywhere? Not everyone is meant to travel the world to be a missionary either. If I can't be the best friend I can be with my friends, how can I be the best friend I can be to anyone, especially those to whom I represent a perfect, loving, all powerful God?
It's like running. It's all mental. It's amazing how much your mind can do.
It took a bit to get there, but there's a half decent thought. And now you know how my brain works most times. It takes a while to get places.
posted by AfterVerner at 11:04 p.m.
3 Comments:
we always try to think about how God sees us and stuff because that's how we're supposed to see ourselves right? (ya right, that never works as planned) well... what if we were made in the image of God... and what if, when He looked at us He saw us how we see Him? sometimes i dont think it matters if we are perfect, but what if he still sees us that way? sometimes i like it that way.
hey,
man i love that style of writting when its free thoughts flowing from one to another its wicked awsome.... and you had some incredible thoghts in it... its funny what you said about friends trying to cheer eachother up by saying awww man life would suck withought you.. i ve often wondered if i could be the type of person who when they say something like that a real honest complement it would be taken to the heart as the most truthful statement ever said. like if i had the abilitly to say werner you are the man and im glad your here that in no way that would sound cheesy but you would take it as something i meant not just something i said because thats what freinds do. imagine that level of honesty and integrity... (by the way werner im very glad your here and i miss chilling with you and mike and john even well im here in itally)
Reid
I really liked this post, seriously. Favorite thought was about friends saying that it'd suck without you around. Coming back from Africa I felt like nobody even needed me back, nobody cared, and if I was back in a third world country nobody would notice. It's sort of a hard thing to grasp. People do care about you, but you realize they really can live without you, but that doesnt lessen the love/care factor. Sort of complicated...but I think you get me.
Post a Comment
<< Home